Thread: Take it ALL off

Since the tropical event is messing up the fishing for the next day or so, I made a dash to hunting camp to make sure the generators were working and that the place was ready if we had to evacuate this year (God forbid). I was riding around checking things out and discovered that we have a bumper crop of the sweetest blackberries ever---talk about your all natural foods. Anyhow, I wanted a bunch, so I slipped on my snake proof leggings and proceeded to harvest the bounty.

It ain't fair. Here I was, all protected against snake bite and sprayed against ticks---I forgot about fire ants. I don't know just how long I stood in their hidden hell-nest, but I had a hat full of prime berries from that spot and had eaten several handsful when they started stinging. They thought those snakeproof leggings were just dandy---plenty of hidden places for them to get into and invade to bare skin. You know how they swarm all over, then start biting all at the same time? The sensation was painful, sudden and complicated. First, off came the snake chaps and I swatted ineffectively at my jeans as it quickly became apparent that they had to come off, too. First, the shoes had to come off and I hopped from one foot to the other, losing my balance and swearing loudly and enthusiastically. My curses were answered by a flock of crows just down the ridge, and I'm sure they were saying, "HEY, YA'LL COME LOOK AT THE FAT DUDE IN THE BRIER PATCH WITH NO PANTS."

I managed to get the fire ants under control, but I was still stuck in the brier thicket with little defense against the stickers, which seemed to have grown barbs while I wasn't looking. I wish it had happened to somebody else, and that I had it on video. It would be a lot funnier.

Damned fire ants. Damned blackberry briers. That's two more good reasons to like pier fishing.

Another classic! I need to find my laughing gif again

Well that just sucks George!

Originally Posted by finchaser

well that just sucks george!

nice boobs!

LOL... Sounds funnier than me dancing a jig in my underwear when I got into'em when we were prepping plots for last deer season.
They all get together in your clothing and count down... 3, 2, 1 and start stinging all at once.

So fire ants don't respond to tick repellant. Good to know. Keep up the research. I swear if something unlucky could happen to a fella you will have tried it out first to save the rest of us.

Originally Posted by midwestexile

So fire ants don't respond to tick repellant. Good to know. Keep up the research. I swear if something unlucky could happen to a fella you will have tried it out first to save the rest of us.

Actually, since fire ants are such a large presence here, I've kinda studied the effects of DEET on them: they don't like it, but their attack response is so strong that they will go into battle mode holding their noses, or what ever the insect equivalent is. Spray a stripe on the ground and they'll go around it, but spray that stripe next to the nest and then kick the nest, and they're all over it---and your foot.

Many many years ago I watched my Dad in a similar predicament while stretching barbed wire fence as fire ants (very fitting name for the sensation of getting bit) were finding an opening in his pants leg...in that case the boxers came off too alongside a public road! I don't recall he EVER thought is was funny but I kinda did...

Originally Posted by chillinfish

nice boobs!

Be very circumspect in your admiration. Next time I see you, I may drop my shorts and show you the other end.

Originally Posted by Haywire

Be very circumspect in your admiration. Next time I see you, I may drop my shorts and show you the other end.

I was nearly blinded by seeing the front side. I would probably lose my hearing and sense of taste and smell if I see the back side!