Thread: Moon Pie Disaster

I was checking the supplies in my Prepper Bunker and discovered that the weevils have gotten into my emergency Moon Pie stash and here it is, just three days before the end of Mardi Gras.

Reckon I better take off for Mobile and camp out on Govt. Blvd. to replenish my supply. The problem is, I don't move quite as quickly as I used to and all the early morning donuts on the octi have increased my girth to the point that I have trouble bending over to reach the pies that fall to the ground---I don't mind if they are mushed up a little. I came up with a plan that requires the help of one of you pier rats---I need a big snake. I figure if I can wrap a big python around my neck it will frighten away the street urchins and intimidate other Moon Pie hoarders. I only need one snake for my shoulders since I already look like I'm smuggling one around my waist and can even jiggle the fat to make it look like it's moving. If you have a spare constrictor, let me know.

I'm so sorry I missed the parade here in Orange Beach, because I can blend right in with the other grey-heads from other parts of the country who are unfamiliar with the Mardis Gras moves that can get you a real full sack of goodies.

My fall back plan to is get a big pair of plastic bosoms, and when I flash them, the float riders never look high enough to see me from the neck up, (Throw me something, mister) but they hamper my agility and the law enforcement folks may wish to ask me embarrassing questions while the Moon Pies are flying all around.

Anyhow, if y'all miss me on the pier, I may be at the revelry in downtown Mobile stocking up on crushed Moon Pies, inedible candy and totally useless trinkets. My shins are padded and my breath is foul as I compete for catching space. I may even attend a Mardis Gras ball if I can get my meds in the right combination. The VOICES tell me that it will be OK.

If you don't have one Haywire get you a oversize dip net works great for keeping the candy and beads from all the kids around you. I thought Linda was going to get in fight at the Foley Parade today. There was an elderly woman with one of the sit down walkers next to us and a couple of women kept getting in front of her so she couldn't see the parade. I did manage to catch a hand full of beads and put on her and gave her a couple of moon pies. Funniest thing was a couple we met from Texas that had their dog with them. The beads were flying around like crazy and I looked around and there around that dogs neck was a set of purple beads that dog had managed to catch.

Originally Posted by chillinfish

Will they throw Moon Pies to him or AT him?

I really do regret having that picture posted on the forum. The remora is not near big enough.

I wish i could 'unsee' what i just saw....

Originally Posted by Mr. Cleland

I wish i could 'unsee' what i just saw....

I have a special eye wash kit for sale that specifically erases that image---only $39.99+S&H.
--But wait. There's more-----For only an additional $19.99, you can purchase an entire brain wipe kit with easy to follow directions. Just call 1-888-IMA-FOOL. There are operators waiting to take your call.

Originally Posted by Haywire

I really do regret having that picture posted on the forum. The remora is not near big enough.

I thought that was a 4 lb ramora?

Dammit Bill you made me look again. How much for that kit? Just might need the whole eraser kit. Can't be more than 5 #, but I'm blind.

With a rack like that he will need a dump truck to bring home all of his moon pies! May even get an endorsement deal.